Maybe she's born with it?

So much of life is out of our control. Actually, all of it is when you think about it. How much power do we really have? Ultimately, I would submit none. You can do your part and try your best, but at the end of the day, someone else is calling the shots. That person could be a boss, a customer, a law enforcement officer, or a spouse. It could also be one of those wonderful inanimate objects like a stoplight, or a dead cell phone battery. Some might say those things are happenstance, but I beg to differ.

Now I’m not discounting the need for personal integrity. We should absolutely do what we can to be prepared, try our best, eat right, exercise, etc., etc. But ultimately there aren’t many things we can control. Now, you could run the stoplight or toss your cell phone out the window, but that won’t help your case at traffic court or to make a phone call. Whether we like it or not, we are all subject to a higher Authority.

I have been amazed lately at how quickly things can change, and how little I control them. One minute I’m at the top, the next I’m at the bottom. And usually I never see it coming. Variables can range anywhere from weekly job responsibilities to interactions with patrons in the parking lot. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s not so good. Even simple things like which role I get cast in, the place I’m assigned to stand on stage, or even my physical body and voice are all realities in my life that never ask for my opinion. Please don’t misunderstand me. I am very happy with my part in Babes in Arms, and I feel very blessed to have my petite stature and high soprano voice (usually). But my point is that I did nothing to deserve them.

I guess that fact is most apparent to me when I am unhappy with my circumstances, like when I feel entitled to a given thing and don’t get it, or when I feel slighted or insecure. That’s when I notice that I have no control. It’s easy to think that when I land a good role or get noticed by a supervisor it’s due to how amazing I am or because of something I did to merit the attention. The reality is that it has NOTHING to do with me at all. My steps are ordered.

I could have been born with a completely different voice, personality, and body type. I could have been raised in a completely different family with a completely different religion and completely different political views. But I wasn’t. Someone decided for me that I would be exactly as I am, exactly where I am, and exactly who I am at this very moment.

Again, I’m not suggesting that there is no accountability for our life choices. Certainly each of us has a free will (that often needs tempered.) But I am saying that just because I make a choice doesn’t mean that I can control the consequences. Just because I choose to exercise everyday doesn’t mean I’ll look like America’s Next Top Model. But it certainly could mean that my body will be developed to its full potential, whatever that looks like.

I’ve recently come to understand more clearly that my best won’t necessarily look like someone else’s. Just because I don’t get the blessing someone else gets doesn’t mean that I did something wrong. And just because I get a blessing, doesn't mean that I deserve it more than someone else. I personally believe all circumstances are determined by Someone far greater than our human minds can comprehend. Now even among the most sincere of Christians that point will be debated, but there are far too many “coincidences” that occur in my life for me to ever think otherwise. Too many unexpected blessings. Too many re-occuring lessons of patience. No, I am on a journey. One that has been planned for a very long time. And for that, I am very grateful.